


More than words

by shuralove



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Feels, Introspection, Letters, M/M, Post-Olympics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 09:52:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14713812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shuralove/pseuds/shuralove
Summary: Yuzuru is anxious.





	More than words

**Author's Note:**

> I've pretty much spent the time since the Olympics greedily devouring all the fics I can about these two glorious men. I'm quite in love it seems. There is a wealth of wonderful writers here and I bow to your not inconsiderable talents. I just wanted to make a small contribution.

The insistent beep of the alarm heralded a new day; a call to put dreams to one side and focus on the realities and challenges.

 

Yuzu always managed to rouse himself easily of a morning, perhaps simply because his dreams needed no constraining, being the most vital and essential aspect of his character since boy hood. As long as he could remember, his dreams had been his constant companion, giving comfort and strength on the often lonely path he trod. He was singularly focused, determined to do whatever was needed. There was honour in discipline, sacrifice was to be expected.

 

Sacrifice was never easy. And was not his alone.

 

He lived with constant guilt. His family lived a split existence and he missed his father and sister every minute. He wished fervently that they could join him and his mother in Toronto. Truthfully, he would have preferred to move TCC and that family to Sendai. He smiled forlornly at the outlandish thought.

 

Yuzu lay in bed staring up unblinking at the ceiling, scenes from his memories filling his vision. He became aware of the rain gently falling against the window and the mournful rhythm it played matched the sorrow he felt deep in his soul.

 

The day he had been dreading was here.

 

Yuzu had prepared well the night before. He had laid out his simple black training clothes, gloves, his skates, a towel, a pile of earphones, his notepad, assorted colourful pens and his water bottle in one pile so all that Yuzu needed to do now was to grab a shower and be on his way.

 

His mother had an early morning appointment so Yuzu showered in silence, turning his face upwards and let the water cascade over his weary body. He tried so hard to imagine his feelings as the soapsuds disappearing down the drain. He didn't stay long in the shower. Once clean, he dried off and finished the rest of his early morning routine. He grabbed his bag, checking he had his keys, wallet and phone and was on his way.

 

The journey to the training centre was uneventful which Yuzu was pleased about. He spent the time visualising his day ahead deciding that being practical would the best way to get through this. He read through his schedule relieved it was to be a light first day back at training. An initial welcome back meeting with the team then an hour or so of simple stroking and some free skating time.

 

He had this.

 

He stood outside the entrance and took a steadying breath before the doors opened in welcome. Once inside the familiar surrounding, a genuine smile began to grace his face. He felt at home and the burden he was carrying began to lift. He greeted the receptionist warmly with a polite incline of his head and a thank you at her congratulations before continuing on. The pads of his fingertips grazed the walls as he made his way along the corridor pulling his bag behind and enjoyed the photographs displayed that captured a little of the special atmosphere that Brian and the team had created here in Toronto. So many memories; ones of laughter, hard work and good times, actually the best of times.

 

The last photo in the gallery, a new addition, made him stop in his tracks.

 

He let go of his bag and his hand came to rest lightly against his chest whilst the other reverently traced the two smiling faces in the photograph. He breathed deeply. a whispered " Hello Javi" was all he could manage.

 

He mentally shook himself, purposefully turned his back to the photo wall and entered the locker room. There was no one else about so Yuzu was able to get changed quickly. As neat as ever, he folded his clothes before placing them in his locker. He opened the door and to his great surprise, there was a white envelope sitting on the shelf with one word flourished across the front.

 

Yuzuru.

 

Yuzu merely stood and stared. He recognised that handwriting. He carefully removed the envelope from the shelf and slumped onto the nearest bench tumbling the card over and over in his fingers. He didn't know what to do. Should he just open it now? Every fibre of his being was willing him to do just that but he knew that he would not be able to keep it together if he did. A voice called on him asking if he was ever coming- everyone was waiting for him. He replied that he would be there in two minutes. Yuzu carefully slid the letter into a compartment of his bag then grabbing his skates he left.

 

Brian and Tracey were waiting in the office and greeted Yuzu with warm hugs. They listened to his stories from his summer off especially his own Continues show and they all had a giggle when Brian mentioned Javi's contribution. Tracy left to take a phone call and Brian took the opportunity to ask Yuzu how he was really doing. He began to rep!y with platitudes but found himself shrugging despondently.

 

"It is hard alone. I not look forward to today."

 

Brian nodded with understanding. "It will take time Yuzu. But we are a family here and you can talk to any of us if you want to. Javi was a huge part of your life for so long. His absence will leave a hole for sure. But that's ok. We'll deal. Right. I think I'll leave you to go get familiar with the ice. See you tomorrow nine sharp on the ice. Get some rest. I'm glad you're back."

 

With a smile and mutual bow, Yuzu left the office for the rink.

 

The magic of the ice wove its spell once more. The glide of his skates and the wind in his hair soothed his anxious mind like nothing else could. He listened to the music being played - some unfamiliar melody- and used his body to express all the fears and worries be had about being without Javi.

 

He managed thirty minutes.

 

He needed to be home alone.

 

He called his farewell to the coaching staff and before they could engage him in conversation he left the rink. He took the quickest of quick showers first then left for home. A call determined that his mother would be out the rest of the day which pleased Yuzu. He didn't have to wait long for his bus and not thirty minutes later he had the key in the door to the apartment. He removed his trainers at the door and made his way straight to his bedroom, dumping his bag and hoodie at the side of his bed. He sat cross legged on the cover and leant over to fish the letter from his bag. He traced his fingers along every letter in his name, smiling to himself.

" Ah Javi." he thought. "Lovely Javi. How like you to be so thoughtful. How did you know that I would need some help today? Though I guess I shouldn't be surprised. It's only one of the many things I love about you."

 

Yuzu slid a finger along the seam of the envelope and tore it open. A single folded sheet of white paper fluttered to the bed.

 

 


End file.
